Siya Kolisi isn’t solely to blame for the divorce: It takes two
Siya Kolisi isn’t solely to blame for his divorce, despite how the media has portrayed it. While his past struggles with alcohol and emotional distance were significant factors, the decision to separate involved both Siya and Rachel. The media’s focus on Siya alone oversimplifies the complexity of their relationship, overlooking the mutual challenges they both faced. Divorce is rarely one-sided, and both partners play a role in how a relationship evolves or deteriorates.
Divorce is a joint decision, not one person’s fault
When Siya and Rachel Kolisi announced their divorce, the media focused heavily on Siya’s past struggles, particularly his issues with alcohol and emotional detachment. However, divorce is rarely the fault of just one person. Rachel’s candid admission that she was “done” and ready for a divorce suggests the breakdown was a shared decision, influenced by both parties’ growth and challenges.
Rachel Kolisi: More than just Siya’s wife
Rachel Kolisi, born Rachel Smith in Grahamstown, South Africa, was already a determined and independent woman before marrying Siya. She completed her studies in events management, worked multiple jobs, and even purchased a car for nearly R20,000 on her own. As a philanthropist, she co-founded The Rise, an initiative that empowers women, and has been open about her struggles with mental health, showing her resilience and strength.
Her own journey—marked by both triumphs and challenges—demonstrates that she wasn’t just the wife of a famous athlete. Rachel has consistently shown her commitment to personal growth and social causes, factors that may have influenced her evolving needs within the marriage.
Personal growth and changing needs
The Kolisis’ divorce reflects the reality that both partners underwent significant personal growth. While Siya’s struggles with alcohol and emotional distance contributed to their issues, Rachel also experienced her own personal transformation. As a mother, businesswoman, and advocate, Rachel had her own goals and challenges. Over time, these growing individual needs may have led to the couple’s eventual separation.
In a candid moment, Rachel shared that she was “done” with the marriage. This suggests she reached a point where she couldn’t continue to invest in a relationship that no longer met her needs, emotionally or otherwise.
Siya’s past issues with alcohol and reckless behaviour were not hidden, and Rachel played an active role in his personal growth. She encouraged him to seek mentorship in 2019, urging him to address his destructive behaviours. However, despite Rachel’s efforts to support Siya, it became clear that their emotional disconnect could not be overcome simply by external changes.
Balanced perspective on Kolisi divorce
Rachel and Siya’s divorce was not the result of one person’s failings, but rather the culmination of both individuals growing apart. Relationships are complex, and both partners contribute to their outcome. While Siya’s struggles were certainly a factor. Rachel’s own personal journey and evolving needs played an equally significant role in their separation.
Siya and Rachel Kolisi’s story is a reminder that relationships are multifaceted. Divorce is rarely the fault of one person alone. Both Siya and Rachel made difficult decisions, and their paths diverged as they navigated their own personal journeys.